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Where I went, where I've been, and why I'm back

6/21/2019

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If you've been patiently waiting for my return, well, this is it. To start, we have to turn back to August of 2018, 10 months ago to this very day. I had gradually been burning out from my personal writing since my last semester at University. Maybe it was the overwhelming feeling of overloading my courses for my final semester, or the fact that I felt less and less confident about my writing abilities, the post began to slow to a trickle and then, suddenly at once, abruptly stopped. Irony is, the last post I made on this page about DMC 5 happens to be the best game I've played in 2019. Since stopping writing (including all personal projects), I found that I really wasn't doing anything creative. Nothing productive, or remotely interesting. There were no intellectual musings or creative discussions because they ultimately didn't matter. I feel very quickly into the banality of adulthood. So much so, I stopped doing anything at all. Soon I was just in bed, playing games and watching movies but no longer writing about them. I did so little that I stopped telling stories because I had none to tell. There was no inspiration, and even clear sky days felt a thick, foggy haze, hovering just above my thoughts. It was less of writers block than it was a writer stricken, and I didn't want to grieve the loss (Bear with me, if you've mad it this far it won't get that much deeper). What I found, in my near year of doing absolutely nothing, of feeling lower than ever before, is that I missed a part of me that I felt ok letting go because I needed someone else's success. I need to succeed in ways I had seen others and that became the sun to my wax wings. However, I am back. I need this now more so than ever. I need somewhere to complain, to be a little highbrow, opinionated, sometimes completely false, but to get it all out there on page. So, if you were reading before, I hope I can welcome you back. I have lots to do, hope you'll be there with me every step of the way.
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